Commission-free regret

Steal from the rich.
Give to Ruben.

$RUBEN is a commission-free, asset-free, upside-optional token on the Robinhood chain. Backed by conviction. And nothing else.

Trading involves risk. So does not trading. So does Ruben. You will be fine, probably.

9:41Ruben · LIVE ○
Portfolio
$0.00
▲ $0.00 (0.00%) · All time
1D1W1M1YALL
$RUBEN
100% of portfolio
$0.00
Diversification: declined
Buying power: vibesCash: —
A full suite of instruments

Everything Wall Street offers. None of the outcomes.

Sophisticated financial products, engineered by a man in the woods. Choose the one that best matches your tolerance for disappointment.

Funds

The Ruben ETF

One index. One holding. It's $RUBEN. We removed diversification to reduce confusion.

Concentrate →
Derivatives

Futures

We don't have one. But you can trade it, leveraged, with money you also don't have.

Go long on nothing →
Contracts

Options

Calls, puts, and the growing realization that $RUBEN was your only real option.

Exercise poor judgment →
Long term

Retirement

Open an account today. Contribute regularly. Retire at a date to be determined by Ruben.

Plan optimistically →

The complete Ruben Hood suite

Twenty-six ways to be exposed. All of them lead to $RUBEN.

How it works

Three simple steps to lifelong exposure.

1

Fund your account

Connect a wallet and deposit. The money is now gone. This is normal and part of the process.

2

Pick $RUBEN

Browse our entire catalogue and select $RUBEN. It is the catalogue. There is nothing else to pick.

3

Hold, indefinitely

Selling requires a future to sell into. Ruben has not arranged one. So we hold. Together. Forever.

As covered by the financial press

People with jobs have looked at this.

"It is, technically, a token."

The Financial Crimes

"We were shown a green line. It went up, briefly, and then it did not."

CNBS Markets Desk

"No comment. Also, please stop emailing Ruben."

Bloombito Wire
Get $RUBEN

Acquire the asset. Inherit the conviction.

$RUBEN trades on the Robinhood chain. Three steps stand between you and financial ambiguity.

01Get a walletAny Robinhood-chain compatible wallet. Fund it with ETH for gas.
02Bridge to the Robinhood chainMove funds over. Watch them arrive. Feel briefly powerful.
03Swap for $RUBENPaste the contract, confirm, and join the movement of one.
Contract address
0x00000000000000000000000000000000000ruben

Not live yet. Neither is Ruben. This placeholder becomes the real address at launch. Verify it everywhere before buying, because Ruben cannot help you and would not know how.

Join the household

A community of believers. And Ruben.

No alpha. No signals. No idea what we're doing. Just a warm group of people holding the same thing and hoping.

Copied. Guard it with your life.